Steady on

Getting a bit more of a grip on things (see last post for losing a grip), I think.

Some travel and time outdoors has helped a lot. I'm moving into a new series and doing a lot of drawing. And accepting how things are. This, what I'm doing now, is what I need. It is slowly evolving and changing. When I can I will update my website, and look for a show. Right now I will travel and make art. When it is ready I'll put it out there. Sometimes you just have to be quiet and work.

A photo from my recent trip.

The river flows steadily on after the rushing water of spring has passed.

Teeny Tiny Art Problems

I should call this blog "Talking to Myself". After the last post, talking to myself, I did some self examination as an adjunct to talking to myself. I examined the frame of mind I am in right now with regard to art making, and just about everything else. I do not have the market drive, I surmised. I have a teeny tiny income from my pension, with which I can pay my teeny tiny bills and my rent, which, though not teeny tiny, is affordable if I am very very careful.

For a long time the possibility of money and a wish for admiration and approval of my skills, and also a wish for communication with like minded others motivated me, and then it didn't. So crass, I know. But, no longer crass, presently, just unmotivated. But, this unmotivation is about showing and selling, not about making. But, without the second part, I question even more drastically the first part and it makes me a bit down at times (mostly when it's cloudy or raining, which is a lot here in Vancouver)

My biggest drive at the moment is to travel, to go out into the wilds. I enjoy all that is involved. The meeting of new people in new places, the going there and the leaving, the seeing of all the things, the hardship of rainstorms, freezing nights, travelling down dirt roads in a van through potholes and washboard, the hikes, the kayaking, the lugging of things. I'm not interested in comfort, I'm interested in challenge, physical and mental.

At the same time, I can't do that ALL the time, and don't want to. I want to feel motivated to put my art out there, to show it, to go after exhibitions, but I'm stalled.

For instance, I know I need to redo my website, as mentioned in the last post, before I apply for anything. But, that means money from my teeny tiny income and an enormous block of time. For some reason, I can't commit. Maybe it has to do with the feeling that the work is just not good enough, not developed enough, so what's the point. I'm waiting for that magic moment when I see it all come together and say to me. YES, this is it, we are here now.

January 2018 Studio Journal Update

I'm still working on the "lost for words" series. I've uploaded a few of these paintings to Saatchi to put out there what I'm doing. And it allows me to price my work for anyone interested. My website needs updating. I'm thinking of changing it completely to a more artist friendly layout. That is an enormous task for which I'm not ready.

All I've done this year is paint and draw and post on social media. I've done no marketing or applying for shows. I felt the need to just make work and see where it goes. In past years I experimented with working hard at showing and marketing. It took a lot of energy and the results were modest. Marketing also affected how I worked, I fear. I don't want to consider my "audience", to be "professional". I want to make work from my heart not from a formula laid down by marketing and, so called, professionalism. It's good to be painting and drawing without these distractions.

When I'm not in the studio, I'm performing activities of daily living, and traveling and being outdoors. I post photos of my excursions and drawings from a drawing diary as well on my instagram account.

Below are examples of both, from a day trip to West Dyke in Richmond just outside Vancouver BC.