Starting something and going on

I've been getting away from the voices in my head saying, you should do this, you should do that with regard to the paintings I am making. Unhelpful suggestions all. I needed to let something go so I'd know how to start again. I took some time away to go camping and to have friends over for dinner, to do a few neglected chores.

I needed to make decisions and go on without imposing 'must do', for all the wrong reasons, on what I did next.


Slow starter

Today I'm back. I spent the day getting here. I made breakfast, drank two cups of coffee while reading my feeds, email and Facebook. I walked the dog and did the dishes. I ate lunch while reading a few chapters of "Behind the Scenes at the Museum" by Kate Atkinson. I took some work off the drawing board and hung it up to dry. I mixed up some paint, not much, just enough to get started on something.

The last piece I worked on titled "I think I will go on" wasn't finished, just needed a little work. I did that little work. Here it is now.

Then I put another drawing that I want to rework into a painting on the drawing board. There it sits right now intimidating me, or something like that. Just sitting there saying come on do it.

The drawing I want to rework defying me to make a mark on it

I'm thinking, I haven't mixed enough paint. I'm thinking, maybe I need to warm up with a drawing, I'm thinking, oh, the dog needs to go out.. Then, finally, I'm thinking, do something, start. This is the way you do it, you start, then you go on.

So, I will start and report back.

Later:
I started, now I've completely mucked it up, I will go in and see what I can do with it. Sorry about the bad photos, not enough light in the studio for photos really and I've got work to do, so just snapshots of starting is what I have time for.

If and when it works out I'll post it on Facebook and Instagram, please follow me there.

Let me know what happens in your studio in the comments or on Facebook. I'm eager to know.

I Give Up

Now that I'm making a little money on the side, I'm giving myself a break and permission to stop feeling pressured. I'm just painting. Making some paintings whenever I can.

I read this today, it made sense to me.

"And if the work can touch or ignite areas of my psyche that I am not normally aware of, then someone looking at it might come in contact with areas of their psyche that they are not normally aware of. It doesn’t have to be the same areas as mine. The great Italian painters of the past had to illustrate biblical stories to an audience that couldn’t read. Maybe today we need artists to keep us in touch with our visual, non-literal consciousness. In these areas of our consciousness, wars do not start and prejudices do not exist. They are areas of our psyche before the I, me, you, and it."

..Bill Jensen from John Yau interview in Bomb Magazine.

This painting is definitely from non-literal consciousness. You can find more here. The other series is still ongoing but needs something that I'm finding in making these. Throwing myself into it, following its train of not thinking. For now. This might be a bit bright at the bottom. I might need to dull it down. Oh, oh thinking. Well, really, it's feeling, it feels not quite right, but maybe I'll let it live, keep it around, next.

Starry Eyed

12 x 9" oil on prepared paper